Things Bunnies Would Say If They Could Speak

“Hey. Hey…can I have that carrot? Yeah that one. No – oh, don’t eat it. It’s for me. Fine, eat it. Fuck you.”

“I may be all cute and fluffy…but I will hop up on your ass and put you in a world of pain.”

“That bunny looks weird. Wait…what?!?! It’s made of goddamned chocolate! Um, I’m sorry, you’re gonna EAT THAT? Ugh. Ugh, I think I’m going to be sick.”

“I could go for some tail, man.”

“I am going to break out of this cage and strangle you in your sleep if you don’t give me that piece of lettuce.”

“The Easter Bunny is our Jesus, my friend – you don’t mess with the Big EB.”

“As soon as you take me outside, I’m makin’ a break from this hellhole.”

“Have you noticed how much I poo? Seriously…”